A unique bond: Stamford heart patients become friends through shared experience
By Kat Russell, Reporter
Stamford Advocate
March 30, 2018
https://www.stamfordadvocate.com/local/article/A-unique-bond-Stamford-heart-patients-become-12793730.php
STAMFORD — There are many ways to make friends, but bonding over open-heart surgery might not seem like one of them.
But for Stamford residents Tim Scaggs, 36, Andrea Rogers, 45, and Rachel Kornfeld, 40, who each underwent open-heart surgery in the past two years, it was that shared experience that brought them together.
“It’s a unique friendship to say the least,” Rogers said of the trio’s bond. “We just mesh. We have so much fun together and laugh a lot. It’s a friendship that will really always be there.”
They each required surgery for different reasons. Rogers developed clots in her lungs. Scaggs had an enlarged heart valve. And Kornfeld was diagnosed with a tumor in her heart. But despite these differences, their experiences, fears and the shock were much the same.
Rogers was the second of the three to have the procedure. A nursing student at the time, Rogers said her diagnosis was a “complete shock.”
Prior to her surgery in November 2016, Rogers had been feeling “extremely fatigued.” Walking up stairs or washing a load of laundry drained her completely.
“I didn’t think I was sick or anything because I was in nursing school and everyone is stressed out and exhausted,” she said. “I just thought I was feeling really run-down from school.”
Six months later, Rogers said she was working at Stamford Hospital when she “felt really dizzy and super weird and sweaty, and I had a bad headache.”
One of her fellow nurses suggested she get examined and a series of tests revealed Rogers had large clots in her lungs.
“I was basically a ticking time bomb,” she said. “I couldn’t believe it. It was really scary and confusing. You never think of yourself in that sort of position.”
The clots, she said, were related to a prolapsed mitral valve in her heart, which required open-heart surgery to repair.
Seeing the fear in Rogers’ eyes, Dr. Michael Coady, chief of cardiac surgery at Stamford Hospital and the surgeon who treated all three patients, put her in touch with Kornfeld who had undergone her own surgery six months earlier.
Coady said he’s been bringing patients together for years to provide additional support and help quell their fears.
“A majority of patients really want to be able to speak to one another beforehand,” Coady said. “There’s a natural instinct people have to want to help one another who are thinking about or facing very stressful kinds of procedures like heart surgery. They want to be there to help and support one another, and I think it is just really beautiful.”
Kornfeld underwent emergency surgery in May 2016 after doctors heard what they thought sounded like a slight heart murmur that turned out to be a two-pound tumor in her heart.
“I never thought it would be that serious,” Kornfeld said of the moment she received her diagnosis. “I think I even asked the doctors if they were punking me, because I thought I just had a little heart murmur. To me, the symptoms I was experiencing — being tired, having shortness of breath — were those of being a working mom with two young kids.”
Within a week, Kornfeld was in surgery and the tumor was removed.
“It all happened so quickly, I didn’t really have time to think about it too much,” she said. “In hindsight, I think that was a good thing, because there is a lot of anxiety involved when dealing with something this big and the unknown, so to just rip the Band-Aid off and get it done was a good thing.”
Because her situation was an emergency, Kornfeld said there was no time to connect with others who’d had similar experiences, which is why she jumped at the chance to talk to Rogers when Coady asked.
“It would have been really nice to be able to talk to someone who had been through what I was going through, but it all happened so fast there just wasn’t time,” she said. “So, I was happy to do it. It’s kind of cathartic to be able to help somebody else in the same position…and it was nice to be able to pay it forward.”
A couple months later, Scaggs came into the picture.
Scaggs was diagnosed after he had surgery on his knee that was injured on a camping trip.
While recovering, Scaggs said the doctors noted he had high blood pressure. After a series tests, Scaggs said the doctor “kind of dropped the bomb that I was going to have to have open-heart surgery.”
It turned out, Scaggs had a genetic defect that rendered a valve in his heart two sizes too big, and it was getting bigger, which could have led to the valve bursting.
“The diagnosis was pretty much the worst day of my life,” he said. “I literally was in tears, just sitting in my car crying.”
“When I was getting the tests done, I was thinking they were going to tell me I needed to lose some weight or needed to stop eating unhealthy or stop drinking,” he added. “It never even crossed my mind that I could have a major issue. It was scary.”
Though he was not able to connect with Kornfeld and Rogers before his surgery, Scaggs said talking to the women afterward helped him realize what he was experiencing physically and emotionally was normal.
“It was super therapeutic because no one can really understand what it was like to go through unless they’ve been through it themselves,” he said. “We have this bond that keeps us together.”
Since their surgeries, Kornfeld, Rogers and Scaggs have kept in touch. They text, chat regularly and get together whenever their busy schedules allow.
“Every time Andrea, Tim and I are together, we laugh and joke about it,” Kornfeld said. “We went through this big scary thing and survived…and it’s nice to just be around people who have been through it and understand.”
Over the years, Coady said he has seen lasting friendships develop from the patients he’s paired.
“There’s a sense of community in having gone through this process,” Coady said. “There’s this bond that forms between me and these patients and it’s stronger than I ever imagined it could be. It’s extraordinarily special when two people have a shared experience, such as heart surgery, they form this common bond, and it’s really amazing to see.”
But for Stamford residents Tim Scaggs, 36, Andrea Rogers, 45, and Rachel Kornfeld, 40, who each underwent open-heart surgery in the past two years, it was that shared experience that brought them together.
“It’s a unique friendship to say the least,” Rogers said of the trio’s bond. “We just mesh. We have so much fun together and laugh a lot. It’s a friendship that will really always be there.”
They each required surgery for different reasons. Rogers developed clots in her lungs. Scaggs had an enlarged heart valve. And Kornfeld was diagnosed with a tumor in her heart. But despite these differences, their experiences, fears and the shock were much the same.
Rogers was the second of the three to have the procedure. A nursing student at the time, Rogers said her diagnosis was a “complete shock.”
Prior to her surgery in November 2016, Rogers had been feeling “extremely fatigued.” Walking up stairs or washing a load of laundry drained her completely.
“I didn’t think I was sick or anything because I was in nursing school and everyone is stressed out and exhausted,” she said. “I just thought I was feeling really run-down from school.”
Six months later, Rogers said she was working at Stamford Hospital when she “felt really dizzy and super weird and sweaty, and I had a bad headache.”
One of her fellow nurses suggested she get examined and a series of tests revealed Rogers had large clots in her lungs.
“I was basically a ticking time bomb,” she said. “I couldn’t believe it. It was really scary and confusing. You never think of yourself in that sort of position.”
The clots, she said, were related to a prolapsed mitral valve in her heart, which required open-heart surgery to repair.
Seeing the fear in Rogers’ eyes, Dr. Michael Coady, chief of cardiac surgery at Stamford Hospital and the surgeon who treated all three patients, put her in touch with Kornfeld who had undergone her own surgery six months earlier.
Coady said he’s been bringing patients together for years to provide additional support and help quell their fears.
“A majority of patients really want to be able to speak to one another beforehand,” Coady said. “There’s a natural instinct people have to want to help one another who are thinking about or facing very stressful kinds of procedures like heart surgery. They want to be there to help and support one another, and I think it is just really beautiful.”
Kornfeld underwent emergency surgery in May 2016 after doctors heard what they thought sounded like a slight heart murmur that turned out to be a two-pound tumor in her heart.
“I never thought it would be that serious,” Kornfeld said of the moment she received her diagnosis. “I think I even asked the doctors if they were punking me, because I thought I just had a little heart murmur. To me, the symptoms I was experiencing — being tired, having shortness of breath — were those of being a working mom with two young kids.”
Within a week, Kornfeld was in surgery and the tumor was removed.
“It all happened so quickly, I didn’t really have time to think about it too much,” she said. “In hindsight, I think that was a good thing, because there is a lot of anxiety involved when dealing with something this big and the unknown, so to just rip the Band-Aid off and get it done was a good thing.”
Because her situation was an emergency, Kornfeld said there was no time to connect with others who’d had similar experiences, which is why she jumped at the chance to talk to Rogers when Coady asked.
“It would have been really nice to be able to talk to someone who had been through what I was going through, but it all happened so fast there just wasn’t time,” she said. “So, I was happy to do it. It’s kind of cathartic to be able to help somebody else in the same position…and it was nice to be able to pay it forward.”
A couple months later, Scaggs came into the picture.
Scaggs was diagnosed after he had surgery on his knee that was injured on a camping trip.
While recovering, Scaggs said the doctors noted he had high blood pressure. After a series tests, Scaggs said the doctor “kind of dropped the bomb that I was going to have to have open-heart surgery.”
It turned out, Scaggs had a genetic defect that rendered a valve in his heart two sizes too big, and it was getting bigger, which could have led to the valve bursting.
“The diagnosis was pretty much the worst day of my life,” he said. “I literally was in tears, just sitting in my car crying.”
“When I was getting the tests done, I was thinking they were going to tell me I needed to lose some weight or needed to stop eating unhealthy or stop drinking,” he added. “It never even crossed my mind that I could have a major issue. It was scary.”
Though he was not able to connect with Kornfeld and Rogers before his surgery, Scaggs said talking to the women afterward helped him realize what he was experiencing physically and emotionally was normal.
“It was super therapeutic because no one can really understand what it was like to go through unless they’ve been through it themselves,” he said. “We have this bond that keeps us together.”
Since their surgeries, Kornfeld, Rogers and Scaggs have kept in touch. They text, chat regularly and get together whenever their busy schedules allow.
“Every time Andrea, Tim and I are together, we laugh and joke about it,” Kornfeld said. “We went through this big scary thing and survived…and it’s nice to just be around people who have been through it and understand.”
Over the years, Coady said he has seen lasting friendships develop from the patients he’s paired.
“There’s a sense of community in having gone through this process,” Coady said. “There’s this bond that forms between me and these patients and it’s stronger than I ever imagined it could be. It’s extraordinarily special when two people have a shared experience, such as heart surgery, they form this common bond, and it’s really amazing to see.”
